I was having dinner at Panera and killing about an hour before work. That’s when I realize there were more than just an apple on my table.

I’ll explain later. Listen to the podcast in the near future.

John Ong…
A-go-go

Oy! It’s early.

John Ong…
A-go-go

John Ong…
on the go

Last night I grilled a couple steaks. Made some vegetable side dishes.
Bruce got us flowers from the store. The mood was great. The food was
delicious. The company was sweet. It was a perfect dinner in the
middle of a hectic work week.

I had to send my car to the shop today and took a bus to work. After taking the wrong bus, I ended up walking the rest of the way to work. And I found this big pile of yellow rice with a pair of rubber gloves.

It’s worth a photo and a blog entry.

So, Bruce and I were running around town. Running errands.

4:30 PM. In Joanne Etc, a craft supply store. I was in the cake
decorating isle. Saw some cake pictures.

Oops.

This is what I just ate!

Thai food conclusion.

Yum…
I like me meat thick and juicy.
Call me Tyler

My depression a couple of months ago gave me the chance to see how helpless I can sometimes be inside a depression funnel. But when I’m out of it, I forgot that I used to be able to find peace in myself. I just let my emotional state in my depression carry on over to today. Mind you, I really know how impossible it was to control anything when I’m having my depression. I know that I’m out of it now, but the attention I got from my depression is what I’m still craving.

Yesterday, I went to a garden. It was after a big downpour. The garden was beautiful, peaceful, and calm. My complete opposite, emotionally. I had a chance to reflect and be silent.

I was afraid of silence. Silence in friendships. Sort of like the little cough, or clearing of your throat, sighing noise you make in a completely silent elevator with others. I was ruffling on things to create noise. To cut the silence. In this case, creating an emotional rumbling for myself and others.

Ironically, it is the very silence that I needed to find my zen. The lost zen that I used to be so proud of.

I found it yesterday in this garden. I am in the process of picking it back up, and restoring it. I still see dirt all over it. But I’m determined to clean it up, and enjoying it again, and hopefully being able to share it again.

I hope you will understand. When I’m empty inside, I can’t possibly offer anything to others. Even to those I desperately want to help and care for.

I hope I will again.

Being silly is a part of me. I’m sure most of you can identify my silliness from my podcast.

This is a picture of me in my pretend office at IKEA last year.

“Hello! I can’t hear you even with my BIG phone!”

You all know Chai. He’s our boy.

A couple of months ago, while I was editing a show on the computer while chatting with my mom on the computer, he sneaked up. As usual, he likes to snuggle up close to me.

As he’s falling asleep, he slowly and sneakily pushed my hand off the mouse, and took over.

I guess being a cat, he really knows which part of the computer is his favorite.

Jewish Christmas

Chai in bed this morning.

My unhealthy snack blog. Directly from my new phone to my blog. Hope it works. Still no voice & coughing.