Voice Comment: (206) 888-JOHN
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Show #253 | Duration: 34:02 | 15.8 MB | Mono |
What does it take to come out?
What is the price of coming out?
What is the benefit of coming out?
Those are some of my own reflections.
Ongline Podcast documents the life of a gay Malaysian-born Chinese American. Immerse yourself in the life of a not-so-typical individual. Expand your horizon by experiencing the topics, issues, stories, and simply, the life of a gay Asian man. Until now, the voice of a minority individual has not been this loud!
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Good discussion about coming out. You brought up some good topics for a group show. I may have to use your ideas on one of my shows sometime. It would have been a great topic for National Coming Out day.
I know you probably want to kill me for double-posting, but I wanted to let you know that, again, you’ve made me think a bit more. I listened to you this morning so I had to go by what you said in my head when I was writing my blog, but feel free to take a look. It might explain a few things.
Yes, and the relationship’s in quite a bit of trouble.
Long distance relationship is really hard. Most people are not willing to take the 1st step in making a relationship work. I think John understands this or rather my perspective on the subject.
I moved to Sydney in 1998 to be with my partner giving a place up at Central St Martins in the UK and all my friends who went ahead of me. Then I moved to Singapore to work with the other half and finally ending up in Adelaide where I know no one nor have any family to rely on to be with him.
You see, someone has to give and if the both of you are ‘selfish’ or overtly melodramatic about the situation then it’s not going to work either. And if you are too pragmatic, then the relationship becomes sterile and ‘impotent’ eg. I only love you when you’re around me and I will screw around when you’re not here!!
After 12 years, you will always have issues but they’re negotiable. The years are relative but the issues are always somewhat similar…
What you’re doing John with your citizenship in the U.S. is a big thing – it is very daunting and not to be taken lightly. I congratulate you for going all the way. People are not aware of how ‘difficult’ it is to separate yourself from the emotional bonds of home. Its like mental identity and I remember going home one time to Singapore and I had to line up in the foreign passport line…it took me by surprise how I was no longer ‘one of them’.
Abit random today but my flow of thought is a little sporadic. I’ll write something more cohesive next time.
As for your upcoming podcast on DEATH. I have two life insurance policies and my last will drawn up. I’ve talked about this before on my podcast. It’ll be interesting to hear your take on this taboo subject. It never hurts to be prepared.
Maybe the astronaut is being himself by getting married. Perhaps he is heterosexual. It is a tendency for many gays to wish every sexy man gay. That may explain why many str8 men don’t like gay men. Perhaps they’ve been pursued by gay’s who can’t except that many guys really aren’t interested in same sex relationships. Just a thought.
that should have read: ” . . . can’t accept . . .
sorry, i make mistakes too
Ben, thanks for sharing your blog post.
Nick, I agree that the assumption of the astronauts sexuality isn’t right. That was a bit of a cheeky and bitchy comment.
I, however do not agree that hatred toward gay men from some straight men comes from gay men’s wishes that they’re gay. I’d think that it’s quiet a flattery. But I agree that could be the cause of bringing the issue up, but the issue is a lot more complicated and deeper. I think it has to do with the homophobic society, lack of sexual confidence, and actually even male chauvinism.
Hey John! I finally got a chance to hit your site and listen to your podcast. You are hiLAUGHious! I really enjoy your frank honesty, even down to the on-air burping! *wink* We should really talk about podcasting in the near future because I want to get a music one started in the new year.
See you on the floor!
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said that people should, if they can without fear of persecution, come out – stand up & be counted for what they are, just ordinary people & not perverts or freaks. I’ve been out for just under thirty years – both to my family and at work too. I don’t give a stuff what folks think about it; if they can’t accept it that’s their problem. Of course, I have the enormous advantage of living in a huge European city, London, – it’s much, much easier for a gay man to live an unthreatened, accepted, life here. What it is like for somebody in a small Bible Belt town in the South – I dread to think.
Anybody who asks, in general conversation, about my ‘wife’ or family, gets firmly told that I don’t have one and that the person I share my life with is a man. The same goes for any business or official contacts. In the U.K. we now have Civil Partnerships and Mike & I will be off to the Registry Office ( where they’re conducted) to get ourselves hitched next year in the Spring. I do believe in keeping a high profile as a gay man – as good as the U.K. is nowadays, the fight for true equality & acceptance is far from over. Queer bashing still goes on – discrimination at work has largely been driven underground due to our anti-discrimination laws, but no doubt it still continues unseen & unheard. And I’ll keep on standing up and being counted – I’m queer and I’m here and I’m angry.