Ongline #294 Punches In My Stomach

by | Oct 26, 2008 | Podcast | 8 comments

Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

Ongline Podcast

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Duration: 33:05 | 30.7 MB | Stereo |

Hello to old and new listeners. Orange In A Pod.

Resurfacing of an old wound. Recuperating?Ǭ�from a lost friendship.

When I looked back at this photo, I realized how aptly this photo was titled – “Away”
Away

Check out my new podcast Ding da Bell.

8 Comments

  1. Pinoylicious Oliver

    Hi John, heard about the thing with Steve. Is he the same Steve we know from way back, Steve from Swan Lake? I’m sorry to hear about the rift, I haven’t been up to date and I had no idea what happened.

    I guess I have to listen to your past episodes. =-(

  2. Archerr

    These things come back to haunt us from time to time. It’s a time to reflect and then let it go awhile….and it will come back.

  3. Nick Thomas

    It’s really weird that (as you know) I have the very same issue with my former best friend, Steve. Not your friend Steve, but a another Steve. I (like you) cannot understand what happened between us. The only thing I can figure might have led to his withdrawal from my life is my finally spilling my guts to him over the phone and letting him know how much I was hurting at the time. I was dealing with Jeremy’s problems and thought I had someone who’s shoulder I could cry on. Maybe it was to much for Steve. I was pretty depressed at the time. I think as long as I was listening to his problems we communicated. As soon as I insisted on contributing my problems dealing with the issues around Jeremy things changed. It was like – I was there for him, but he didn’t want to be there for me. Maybe I’m to much a burden. Maybe this is why I lack friends. Regardless of the cause. I resent what happened. And I hate Steve for what he did to me. I’d never treat a friend the way he treated me by his abandonment. As far as I’m concerned – Steve is dead. And I could care less if I ever hear from him again. This may sound harsh. But this is how I feel.

  4. John Ong

    Oliver, yes, it is the same Steve. It’s unfortunate. Almost wasted. But I do know he is not going to hurt me intentionally. We don’t have any dramatic fight or anything. Just suddenly ended. We are still speaking, when we do speak, which was months ago. Only only through Flickr, Facebook, and such. It saddens me lots, but we things change.

    Archerr, yeah, I am very better right now. A year ago, I was a mess. 🙂

    Nick, I don’t hate Steve. Never hated him.

  5. Nick Thomas

    As per your comment to me: You’re a nicer person John, but we all know that.

  6. Vincent Tan

    John, no matter what, just want u to know, u are loved !

  7. John Ong

    Vincent, thank you very much.
    I just want to say that I honestly believe that Steve would not do anything to harm me intentionally. I also believed that he really cared and loved me as his very close friend. It’s just unfortunate that it is no longer.
    What I learned is that no matter how much I want that friendship to sustain, it just doesn’t work if one of us no longer feel the same for each other anymore. It doesn’t matter what triggered it. It still hurt like a motherfucker!

    Nick, we all process things differently. In fact, part of the reason why I am reacting this way is I think I know him well. Even though I hated the fact that that something that hit him affected our friendship, there’s nothing I nor him can do. I think he tried. I just accepted the fact.

    Again, it’s still hurt like a mofo.

  8. Marco Channing

    I so relate to your story.

    My manfriend of 12 years and I broke up last June. It truly feels like losing a part of your body. it’s particularly difficult when it’s the other party who decides to end the relationship.

    The most difficult part of forming a close relationship with anyone is finding the right chemistry with the right person.

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About

Ongline Podcast documents the life of a gay Malaysian-born Chinese American. Immerse yourself in the life of a not-so-typical individual. Expand your horizon by experiencing the topics, issues, stories, and simply, the life of a gay Asian man. Until now, the voice of a minority individual has not been this loud!

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