Ongline #274 Goals Come from Purpose

2 Comments

BlackEssence on May 12, 2008 at 12:58 am

Heheh! John, you are so silly! Heheh! Thank you for playing my messages. Hearing myself on there, I dont sound the same! What in the world? Heheh! I would like to be an intervee for you one day! Heheh! We can meet on skype and do it, I suppose. Heheh!

Anyway, Im glad that you are doing better in this podcast. The last podcast, you sounded so tired and just…not all there. But, your voice, as always, is soothing to listen to. Heheh! Anyway, take it easy and I cant wait to hear from you next week….or this week! ^__^* Wuv you, John!

Nick Thomas on May 12, 2008 at 5:27 pm

John, OMG you are confusing me!!! I love you, but are confusing me. I think a goal would be sorta like a distraction. It’s a good thing I think for me to try to be there for Jeremy. To somehow try to look out for him. I think its sort of similar to my what kept my mom alive so long battling cancer. She wanted to be with her family. She had purpose based on her being a mother. So her purpose gave her the goal of living life as long as her body would sustain her. I think my problem is that I do not have an intimate relationship with one special guy. There isn’t anything in my life to hold onto. And that leads me to my depression and my never-ending thoughts of ending my life. I am my own worst enemy in this ongoing battle with depression. Finding it easier to engage in hookups than in meaningful long term relationships. It’s a trap that is difficult to escape from. I like hookups. And I’m not ashamed to say so here or in my podcasts. I’m trying to be honest about my life. I know its not pretty. But its real. I donno the point in doing a podcast otherwise. Is any of this making sense? I doubt it. Oh well . . . thanks for being a friend John. I’d love to host you here in Pelham someday. I’d be nice. 😛

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BlackEssence on May 12, 2008 at 12:58 am

Heheh! John, you are so silly! Heheh! Thank you for playing my messages. Hearing myself on there, I dont sound the same! What in the world? Heheh! I would like to be an intervee for you one day! Heheh! We can meet on skype and do it, I suppose. Heheh!

Anyway, Im glad that you are doing better in this podcast. The last podcast, you sounded so tired and just…not all there. But, your voice, as always, is soothing to listen to. Heheh! Anyway, take it easy and I cant wait to hear from you next week….or this week! ^__^* Wuv you, John!
Nick Thomas on May 12, 2008 at 5:27 pm

John, OMG you are confusing me!!! I love you, but are confusing me. I think a goal would be sorta like a distraction. It’s a good thing I think for me to try to be there for Jeremy. To somehow try to look out for him. I think its sort of similar to my what kept my mom alive so long battling cancer. She wanted to be with her family. She had purpose based on her being a mother. So her purpose gave her the goal of living life as long as her body would sustain her. I think my problem is that I do not have an intimate relationship with one special guy. There isn’t anything in my life to hold onto. And that leads me to my depression and my never-ending thoughts of ending my life. I am my own worst enemy in this ongoing battle with depression. Finding it easier to engage in hookups than in meaningful long term relationships. It’s a trap that is difficult to escape from. I like hookups. And I’m not ashamed to say so here or in my podcasts. I’m trying to be honest about my life. I know its not pretty. But its real. I donno the point in doing a podcast otherwise. Is any of this making sense? I doubt it. Oh well . . . thanks for being a friend John. I’d love to host you here in Pelham someday. I’d be nice. 😛

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