Why did it take me so long to realize and admit that I ain’t it.
Constantly trying to be the it for someone who doesn’t think I’m it; while ignoring those who think I am.
It’s time to appreciate it.
It’s time to stop wasting it.
I guess it took this long because I needed the time and maturity to not hate the whole world and feel bitter about this realization.
Be aware of the present. The now.
After all, the greatest gift is the present. The ones who love you is right in front of you; while you’re desperately looking for them to the left, the right, the back, but the front.
picture by Steve. My current “zen” photo.
Very Zen… I have a lot hate relationship with the sea…
I sorta missed the sea. Didn’t appreciate it too much when you grew up with it all around you. Do tell tho.
We don’t have a sea in Chicago, but we do have Lake Michigan. I like going down there when I am rtying to work out problems. Seeing the enormity of the lake kinda puts your problems in perspective. Yeah, they may be big but overall, they really aren’t.
John…your it to me and to Bruce. What else do you need? 😀
I don’t need anything else.
I just failed to realize.
I must confess that I sometimes find it hard to know from whence you come. Perhaps I’m stupid, simple minded or to matter-of-fact to hear the hidden meaning within your writings. This one had me perplexed to say the least. I read it one way; the only way that it appears to make sense to me. But then I figure I must have it all wrong. You seem to have (by this writing) come to a realization. Someone you have been spending a good deal of your time with does not (from your perception) think you are “it”. If you feel that you have been wasting your time on someone who does not think you’re “it” then only you can change things. I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t expect to be thought of as “it”. I’d call that diminished expectations. That way I am always surprised (pleasantly I might add) when I learn that someone actually does think I am “it”. Or could it be John that I have totally misunderstood you. I am not the brightest star in the sky. Love you John. And for what its worth – I think you’re “IT”.
Nick, I choose to keep some things in private. That’s why some of my “emotional graffiti” do not make complete sense.
But I do get your point Nick. I always tell people that if you don’t expect, you don’t get disappointed. However, when it happens on me, it’s harder to do. 😀
You can’t blame anyone for anything in this situation. Perhaps the situation itself can be blamed. But what good does it do?
I do, however, realized that it may not be easy learning to do the right thing. I am learning it, and I think I’m doing better with it.
There is one big piece of the puzzle missing for this situation. Something caused me to post this entry.
I am not willing to deal with this publicly. I choose to deal with it privately and dealing with it personally. Because 99.9% of this situation is all in my own head. The 0.1% still hurts. Hence I posted this. I think when I can get this issue worked out in my own head. Things will all be good.