Attention whore

by | Jul 4, 2007 | John Ong Living | 4 comments

I had a nice long conversation with two friends this afternoon.

We were watching pictures of some amazing shots a friend of mine took in Cambodia, Myanmar, Thailand and so forth. With some nice ethereal Eastern music in the background, I suddenly realize that I haven’t allowed myself to calm down and be silent. I haven’t had a chance to reflect. To find my focus. To find my balance. To find peace.

I am emotionally confused. I understand how I got into it. My sister. Parting with a good friend. I know it is okay to let myself be vulnerable sometimes. But my failure is that I get the attention from being vulnerable and sensitive. I am subconsciously enjoying the attention and get stuck in the state where I’m constantly emotional.

In the meantime, I have decided to refocus my purpose. I want to find my peace again. And I know I will. I think when that comes, I’d have more good things to offer.

4 Comments

  1. Lisa

    I’m seriously going to drag you down to Winfield and dunk you in the hot tub. How about some jet skiing at the lake? I know you’d enjoy it . . . but I’d have to dunk you a good one there too! Love ya! Lisa

  2. John Ong

    Thank you Lisa.
    I think I have finally found what I have been looking for. I’ve just been looking for it in the wrong places.

  3. Nick Thomas

    WTF is that all about John?

  4. John Ong

    Nick, that was a SPAM slipped through.

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