A dear listener from Hawaii sent me this lovely package. The cute and personal stuffed dolls. It’s so meaningful that I have to go through them one by one on OnglinePodcast.com in HD.
Thank you Kichigai Mom. SO MUCH!!

Check out the pictures that I just uploaded too.

Last Friday, we discovered a drop of blood in Tach?ɬ©’s urine. I immediately sent her to the vet that morning. After some urine and blood tests and further x-rays, the vet discovered that she has an abnormally enlarged kidney. With all the tests, our vet thinks that it’s an indication of lymphoma. But to be certain, we scheduled for a sonogram to get a better look at her internally.

Today, early in the morning, we sent her back to the vet for the sonogram and a tissue test, and both results confirmed that it is indeed lymphoma, which is a form of cancer.

The unwelcoming news is obviously devastating to Bruce and I. But we are focused on doing what’s best for her. So that she can live the rest of her life as comfortable and as best we can provide to her.

We are at a point where we have to decide if we want to put her on chemo therapy or should we just let her live the rest of her life with the least level of stress and at the maximum level of comfort. The decision isn’t easy. We have yet to come up with one concretely. We are leaning toward the latter. (She is next to me cleaning herself. We’re sharing a couch.)

Our vet already told us that surgery is already too late. Even if we were to give her chemo, it is merely going to prolong her life for weeks or perhaps months.

We try to make the best decision for her, and not selfishly for us.

What’s painful for me personally is thinking about having to send her to the vet when she’s too weak to live or suffering too much. The dilemma of wanting her with us and wanting the best for her. Taking her to the vet for the very last time is very painful for me. I dread the day. But I know that the day will come. It’s just a matter of how soon.

We will have to sit on this decision for at least another day.

UPDATED minutes later:
After reading what I just wrote, and looking at Tach?ɬ© just being her good old self next to me, I realized perhaps I should focus more on her life and the time I have with her now. Otherwise, it’s a waste of her time.