We are fucked

I woke up today with the news of a gay sex raid in Penang.
I am saddened by that. Not for gay sex. They were using condoms for goodness sakes.
Don’t even judge these 37 men. I am so disgusted by how the society treat us. I don’t care if you’re having sex in a monogamous relationship or a group sex. The issue is larger than that. We are being attacked as a group of people. Gay people are being attacked.

What the FUCK!

I thought that’s going to be a horrible news I’ll get today. Was I wrong.

The Democrats are apparently going to let Mukasey become our new Attorney General. How hard is it to recognize that water boarding is torture? He refused to say so. I wonder why? Bush nominated him. I wonder why he’s not taking a stand?

Why are the Democrats letting this happen? I am so hurt and frustrated. How are we suppose to choose now? The horrible or the slightly less horrible? If the Democrats lose in the general election next year, it is their own fault.

FUCK! We are fucked.

Shake it Sheikh

I haven’t been paying too closely an attention to the first Malaysian angkasawan (astronaut) news much.

Yesterday was the first time that I get to look closely at this first Malaysian astronaut.

His name is Sheikh (prounounced like “Shake”) Muszaphar Shukor.

Come on people. Whether you’re gay or straight, you have to admit that he’s HOT!

SheikhTU

So handsome!

SheikhBM

Inevitably, I started looking for more than just pictures. Found some videos in YouTube.

I’m not judging or anything, but my gaydar went blip-blip-blip.

Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking. I’m attached and all. But what do you think?

Here’s a thought.

What if you’re that goodlooking, that well-known for being the first Malaysian astronaut (I can think of other spelling), and gay?

There is a quote from and article saying:

Sheikh Muszaphar, whose good looks have also landed him modelling jobs, said he had a sweetheart but she understood the demands of the mission.

Now, would the “sweetheart” necessarily be a woman? Or is the press just assumed? And in the article, it was “had” not “has”.

We are talking about a Malaysian in Malaysia. Representing Malaysia throughout the world. A muslim Malaysian. Being gay must not be as easy.

What did I just ramble on?

Did I mention he’s HOT?

Would you rather be gay and happy or famous and successful and being closeted?

Blame your own hypocrisy!

Don’t shame me. Don’t shame my being. Don’t shame my being gay.

I am proud of it. And I live my life with dignity.

It is your self-righteousness that is shameful.

It is your hypocrisy that is disgusting.

None to do with my being gay. None to do with gay sex. I’m proud of everything about my being gay.

Hypocrites, suck it! (not the good way)

Thank you please.

Read the disgrace yourself.

Almost Set

Almost set

It just needed time. Yesterday was the time. Support and love from friends helped.

This morning I woke up without the cloud of worries and concerns. What a fucking relief!

The amazing thing is, nothing changed. In fact, my sister is back to the hospital. She’s okay. She needed more treatments. I spoke to her last night. She is more at peace than I was. I am learning. And other things are still the same too. I just stop obsessing about them. I’ll let things fall into their own places at their own time. I’ve given enough and have decided to be nice to myself. 🙂

I am not declaring victory in my emotional struggles, but I’m certain almost set.

(Picture was taken last Thanksgiving in North Carolina)

Amnesty International Applauds Stay of Execution for Troy Davis

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL USA
PRESS RELEASE

July 17, 2007

Amnesty International Applauds Stay of Execution for Troy Davis

(Atlanta) — Amnesty International USA (AIUSA) applauded today’s decision by the Georgia State Board of Pardons and Paroles to grant a 90-day stay of execution to Troy Anthony Davis, who has spent 15 years on death row for a murder that he denies committing. Davis, 38, was convicted despite the lack of a murder weapon or physical evidence linking him to the crime.

“Let today begin a new day for truth and justice in Georgia,” said Larry Cox, executive director of AIUSA. “We call upon the Georgia Parole Board to recognize that in the United States, one is innocent until proven guilty — and in the absence of such proof, there is no acceptable choice but to grant clemency. The Board must recognize the flawed logic of executing a man who may be innocent.”

Troy Anthony Davis, who is African American, was convicted in 1991 of murdering Mark MacPhail, a white police officer. The prosecution based its case on the testimony of purported “witnesses,” many of whom allege police coercion. Seven of the nine non-police witnesses for the prosecution have recanted or contradicted their testimony in sworn affidavits, and nine people assert that one of the two who hasn’t recanted is actually responsible for the murder.

Despite this, Davis’ habeas corpus petition was denied by the state court on a technicality — evidence of police coercion was “procedurally defaulted,” that is, not raised earlier, so the court did not take it. The Georgia Supreme Court and 11th Circuit Federal Court of Appeals deferred to the state court and rejected Davis’ claims, and earlier this month the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear his case.

“We are deeply saddened that the MacPhail family has suffered such pain and hope that today’s decision will lead to a fair and earnest search for justice,” said Sue Gunawardena-Vaughn, director of AIUSA’s Program to Abolish the Death Penalty. “Now that the Board has issued a stay of execution, it is time for authorities to reopen their investigation and seek the truth. Only in that way can society honor the memory of Mark MacPhail.”

Amnesty International has long-standing concerns about Troy Davis’s case. In February of this year, the organization released a 35-page report, “Where is the Justice for Me? The case of Troy Davis, facing execution in Georgia.” In recent weeks the organization has mobilized its worldwide membership and collected thousands of letters calling for clemency for Mr. Davis.

Contact: Wende Gozan at 212/633-4247 or Jared Feuer at 404/668-8388

Repost on Ongline from Amnesty International.

I ain’t it

Why did it take me so long to realize and admit that I ain’t it.
Constantly trying to be the it for someone who doesn’t think I’m it; while ignoring those who think I am.

It’s time to appreciate it.

It’s time to stop wasting it.

I guess it took this long because I needed the time and maturity to not hate the whole world and feel bitter about this realization.

Be aware of the present. The now.
After all, the greatest gift is the present. The ones who love you is right in front of you; while you’re desperately looking for them to the left, the right, the back, but the front.

My current favorite zen picture
picture by Steve. My current “zen” photo.

About

Ongline Podcast documents the life of a gay Malaysian-born Chinese American. Immerse yourself in the life of a not-so-typical individual. Expand your horizon by experiencing the topics, issues, stories, and simply, the life of a gay Asian man. Until now, the voice of a minority individual has not been this loud!

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