Delicious meat
Originally uploaded by John Ong.
Yum…
I like me meat thick and juicy.
Call me Tyler 😉
The Foodie Boys
iPhones complete us
Click on any picture to view the rest of them in Flickr.
Ongline #234 Happy Foodies
Voice Comment: (206) 888-JOHN
Show #234 | Duration: 52:06 | 48 MB | Stereo |
This show is recorded in stereo with my binaural microphones. It’s best enjoyed with a pair of headphones, and yes, the file size is LARGE. It is about food!
Click on the photo to see more photos on Flickr.
Please dine with us, the famous Happy Foodies. Maiko, Peter, Pinoyboy and myself. There won’t be any intimiate food-chewing, but there’ll be a lot of food dicussions.
I had a fabulous time with the boys and Maiko this weekend. Too bad Brad from 773 Podcast had to leave early for a softball game in Chicago.
Almost Set
It just needed time. Yesterday was the time. Support and love from friends helped.
This morning I woke up without the cloud of worries and concerns. What a fucking relief!
The amazing thing is, nothing changed. In fact, my sister is back to the hospital. She’s okay. She needed more treatments. I spoke to her last night. She is more at peace than I was. I am learning. And other things are still the same too. I just stop obsessing about them. I’ll let things fall into their own places at their own time. I’ve given enough and have decided to be nice to myself. 🙂
I am not declaring victory in my emotional struggles, but I’m certain almost set.
(Picture was taken last Thanksgiving in North Carolina)
I ain’t it
Why did it take me so long to realize and admit that I ain’t it.
Constantly trying to be the it for someone who doesn’t think I’m it; while ignoring those who think I am.
It’s time to appreciate it.
It’s time to stop wasting it.
I guess it took this long because I needed the time and maturity to not hate the whole world and feel bitter about this realization.
Be aware of the present. The now.
After all, the greatest gift is the present. The ones who love you is right in front of you; while you’re desperately looking for them to the left, the right, the back, but the front.
picture by Steve. My current “zen” photo.
Follow me to DC
Click on the photo above to go to my Washington DC photo set. I’m adding more every day. Check back on the same set for more photos.
Lost Zen
I’ve been emotionally confused, tired, and stressed. You all know that by now.
My depression a couple of months ago gave me the chance to see how helpless I can sometimes be inside a depression funnel. But when I’m out of it, I forgot that I used to be able to find peace in myself. I just let my emotional state in my depression carry on over to today. Mind you, I really know how impossible it was to control anything when I’m having my depression. I know that I’m out of it now, but the attention I got from my depression is what I’m still craving.
Yesterday, I went to a garden. It was after a big downpour. The garden was beautiful, peaceful, and calm. My complete opposite, emotionally. I had a chance to reflect and be silent.
I was afraid of silence. Silence in friendships. Sort of like the little cough, or clearing of your throat, sighing noise you make in a completely silent elevator with others. I was ruffling on things to create noise. To cut the silence. In this case, creating an emotional rumbling for myself and others.
Ironically, it is the very silence that I needed to find my zen. The lost zen that I used to be so proud of.
I found it yesterday in this garden. I am in the process of picking it back up, and restoring it. I still see dirt all over it. But I’m determined to clean it up, and enjoying it again, and hopefully being able to share it again.
I hope you will understand. When I’m empty inside, I can’t possibly offer anything to others. Even to those I desperately want to help and care for.
I hope I will again.
You’ve been sweet
Thanks to all of you who sent me your love. I appreciate it lots.
Someone dear to me reminded me that I have to take care of myself sometimes. I will try my very best.
I’m better. I hope my sister will be too. She’s gone back to the hospital for more treatment. Good thoughts for her.
Ongline #230 Steve on my Fat
Voice Comment: (206) 888-JOHN
Show #230 | Duration: 45:33 | 41.9 MB | Stereo |
UPDATE: In case you are as codependent as I am. Steve is home safe.
For the first time, Steve and I talked about my weight loss and what I have been doing to add exercise to my weekly routine.
Steve and I had a wonderful time together in Kansas City. We get to spend two weekends together. Thank you Steve, for everything.
I love my Feeder from Reinvented Software.
About
Ongline Podcast documents the life of a gay Malaysian-born Chinese American. Immerse yourself in the life of a not-so-typical individual. Expand your horizon by experiencing the topics, issues, stories, and simply, the life of a gay Asian man. Until now, the voice of a minority individual has not been this loud!
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